Spending Our First Valentines Day as a Married Couple

Nothing sweeter than a Valentine’s Day spent at home.

I think since my husband I have been together for 4 years (it still gives me the cringe to call him as my husband haha), we don’t crave the fancy dinners and eating out as much as before. Gone are the days when if there’s an occasion, the first thing we will think of is to search for a fancy restaurant and book a reservation. Although of course from time to time we still go out but just when we feel like it. Like we will just go out if we want to try something or if we really want to go outside to see some sun and rest our eyes after a whole day of working in front of the computer.

We now appreciate intimate dinners at home more ( i think this is what adulting does to you at some point) – with just the two of us, eating what we have prepared together while discussing about our everyday life and future plans – sometimes while watching random shows on Netflix.

 Also, starting this year we are trying our very best to have a minimal lifestyle.  This is why last Feb.14, it was a mutual decision that we stay at home and spend time with each other. We both did the grocery a day before, prepared a charcuterie and drank wine. Then we had Ralph’s favorite ube cake that I baked a day before while having green tea while we watched #STAYHERE on netflix. To be honest, i think it’s one of the best Valentines celebration we’ve had. We spent roughly about 60dhs (less than 1k pesos). We also vowed to each other that we will avoid giving each other material gifts from now on, on every occasion but rather give each other time and experiences instead. That way we have less waste and we don’t accumulate ‘material things’ in our humble home. 

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Although I kinda cheated a bit because I gave him a klean kanteen water bottle as an early vday gift but it was something that he really needed and even if it’s not Valentines Day or even without any occasion I would still buy it for him anyway. Also, it was really  for the both of us since whenever we go out we always tend to buy water but now I appreciate that my husband brings water with him all the time.

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I actually like Valentines day since I think it’s that one day when it’s totally acceptable for everyone to be cheesy :), although I may have a different perception of it before. I used to think of Valentines day as the time when partners should prove their very best how much they mean to each other. This means, giving material gifts, writing long love letters and doing extraordinary things just to show your partner how much he/she means to you. Because of thinking this way, I always had high expectations which always turn into disappointments. I was stupid and thanks to Ralph for making me realized that it’s not like that and it shouldn’t be like that.

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What I realized now, after 4 years of being in a relationship with my now husband is that it isn’t just about the love you receive but more importantly about the love you give. Also, we each give love differently than we receive it and most often our love languages are not the same as our partners. So never expect, and always love unconditionally.  And I think this is the true essence of Valentine’s day, to remind us of how it really is to be in love and be loved. And I will always be grateful that I get to spend Valentine’s day with my most favorite person, my husband. <3

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“The one thing I know for sure is that feelings are rarely mutual, so when they are, drop everything, forget belongings and expectations, forget the games, the two days between texts, the hard to gets because this is it, this is what the entire world is after and you’ve stumbled upon it by chance, by accident––so take a deep breath, take a step forward, now run, collide like planets in the system of a dying sun, embrace each other with both arms and let all the rules, the opinions and common sense crash down around you. Because this is love kid, and it’s all yours. Believe me, you’re in for one hell of a ride, after all––this is the one thing I know for sure.”


Beau Taplin

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